The Heart of a Pastor’s Wife

As pastors’ wives
Christ hears our cries
Every day of our lives
He touches our hearts
He knows what we need right from the start
So do not give up nor give in
For if you do, you have allowed the enemy to win


Psalm 138:8, 2Corinthians 4:8-10, Philippians 4:19, John 15:16

As I take the 50 minute drive to work every morning, I observe God’s righteous right hand on all of nature. The trees are what I notice most, especially those that stand alone. There are many that are in close proximity of each other. I find those that are separate are extremely unique. Have you ever wondered why specific trees are isolated?  I truly believe everything God created has meaning. In this case, the position of the trees, the distance between them, and the height at which each one grows are crucial to each tree surviving and its purpose served. Although these trees are independent from the others, they still mature at the pace that it is to develop.  When Fall comes, its leaves begin to dwindle.  The fallen leaves are crushed as people walk on them, many times, not even realizing that those particular leaves were once a soft, beautiful, luscious green.  Its branches are left bare, totally nude for all to see. It may have been abused,  gossiped about, belittled, falsely accused, rejected, abandoned, and left to fend on its own.  This is when we must stand on 2Corinthians 4:8-10. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifiest in our body. Just like the trees, once that season is over, it begins to grow again and the roots have become even stronger because it passed the test. It is ready to share its testimony.  Because little did they know, the Sun(Son) was beaming on it ever so brightly, but others could not see Him or even feel His presence.  So, here I am: New growth, new reason, stronger season.)

I have begun this blog to reach out to the wives of pastors who may feel as though they are alone.  We do not have all of the answers to everything we go through as the Elect Lady, but I do know this, Christ is shining ever so brightly on us.  Just when the enemy attempts to plant seeds in our head for us to give in and give up, that is when we must believe and stand on Philippians 4:13 which states that “We can do all things through Christ which strengtheth us.”  Just like those trees that are isolated, they are dependent on Christ to nourish them, we must do the same thing.

Now those trees that are in close proximity to one another can be viewed in so many ways. Some could say these trees need one another to survive. This would include all of the disciples working together.  Another could view it as them stealing nutrients from one another because they want to stand out as the important one. These are the disciples who attempt to get near the pastor and his wife as much as possible. Last, these trees could be seen as though they dwell in the same area and seem inseparable, but in actuality, it does not mean they are united. These are the disciples who cause nothing but pain and heartache in the ministry; especially to the Elect Lady of the ministry. They feel as though they can say anything to our husbands. The enemy’s mission is to crush the Elect Lady of the ministry.  If we allow him to accomplish this by using others in the ministry to destroy us, then we must ask ourselves, what happened to the power of the Holy Spirit that we say dwells within us? The first thing some of the disciples will say is, I thought she had the Holy Spirit living in her. Once the enemy is done, he is traveling to the next ministry because his mission was accomplished at yours.

When I began to view trees in a different light, it helped me to see that none of this is about me.   It is all about Christ and what He already placed in me to accomplish His work for Him.  Many times my heart aches because of the different personalities of the disciples.  I felt as though the pain, anguish, the gossip, and all of the false accusations was just too much to bear. What about my own personality?  When I start thinking about the trees and how each one fulfills a purpose, it helped me to view the disciples through the eyes of Christ.  So there must be some trees that are separate from the rest.  I believe it is us; the Elect Ladies. It is because He desires to have a relationship with us.  Christ wants us to hear His still small voice instructing us. Our passion should be in helping our husbands according to the will of God, and not our own. We are the rock of our husband’s ministry.  When hurting souls walk through those doors, their focus will be on us. They will observe our relationship with our husbands and with other disciples of the ministry.  If they do not see positive relationships, what reason do they have to stay?  You see, Christ called us out for His purpose.  Remember He chose us, we did not choose Him according to John 15:16. His word states that He appointed us so that we go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. There were many times I felt as though I needed a break.  I did not want to be around anyone in the ministry, except my husband.)  He and I are one.  The more I tried, the more the disciples lashed out.  I was trying in my own strength and failed every time.  I just know He collected all of my tears in a jar.)  I heard His still small voice say, “Girl, what is wrong with you?  This is for My glory, not yours.”) The Holy Spirit reminded me that I could not please Him in the flesh.  Believe me, there were many times, many, many times my flesh wanted to rise.  Of course, it did.) It was not that I lashed out at someone with hurtful words.  Instead, it was my silence that was affecting the ministry.  I believe the silent treatment can be more detrimental than a verbal attack.  The enemy does not care how you hurt someone, just as long as he has accomplished his mission. Of course, I did apologize because it was my heart’s desire, and I did not want to sever my relationship with Christ and His disciples.  I thank God for His mercy and goodness. Then, I began to stand on the following scripture, James 1:19: Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

I know that first and foremost, that I am a Woman of God. Even through the tests, I enjoy and love being the wife of a pastor. I love our disciples and our ministry.  Psalm 138:8 states, “He will perfect that which concerneth us: thy mercy, O Lord, endureth forever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.

I pray that this blog reaches other wives. As you read about the trees, Christ may have you view it differently to help you.  Whatever you do, please do not give in or give up.  We must start to view everything through Christ’s eyes. As women of God, our relationships must be vertical with Christ in order for us to develop relationships horizontally with others. Our husbands are a gift from God, and we were chosen as their helpmeet to help build God’s kingdom.  Everything that we need has already been placed and planted in us. So, what are we waiting for? Let us not allow the author of confusion to win. Let us begin to focus more on the positive attributes of each disciple. Without many of them and the trials we experience, our growth is stunted. It is not the individual that is attacking us.  We are wrestling against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, and against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:12)

Remember, we were resurrected with Christ. We have already won! Let us continue to stay connected to the Tree of Life.)

In my next post, I will share some personal stories and share with you how Christ brought me through it all. Also, I will share with you what the Holy Spirit led me to in the book of Genesis on Adam and Eve.

Christ wants us to be Spiritually FIT.

F- for us                             I- in us                        T-through us

Love you all,